make many friends easily..
With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.
Becoming Likable:
Setting the Stage
Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.
In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend.
With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.
Becoming Likable:
Setting the Stage
Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.
In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend.
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